When The Ship Lifts

Can’t seem to wrap my mind
round those final feet
round this inevitable
with all my desire
I cannot bring me to care
they have not boarded me
though one could not tell
from the weariness in here

I had in my eye
this thing I could not see
this weakness, tiredness
relentless
untiring

I stumbled
with the pitch and yaw at the pier
I mumbled
forgot the dreams, in fear
Maybe forgot the memories

I’ve pressed my head
against this wall
strained for this
for all these thousand breaths
and it will not shift
perhaps I will not shift

I called out to myself
of weakness, tiredness
relentless
untiring

still, the stumble
The waves gently cursing my course
mumble
Fix me
lift my countenance
to meet yours

drift this transom
to face the setting sun
abandon this strait
to meander free
unfoul me,

lift anchor
all bills are not paid
set me loose

too long, too long
these words, these breaths
shift my colors
I’m tired, tired

______________________
Original Post
08 August 2013

Cold Waves

The ice-wind has loosed itself here
The sands have been covered
In the frozen white

The seas have grown cold
Where once they were warm
As holding hands

The grass has snapped
Shards left in the frost
And the sun glares
From the sky
White, uncaring

Cloth, carelessly undone
Blows listless in what remains
Of the bitter air

As I search the horizon
With unfocused eyes
The highway is miles behind me
On the other side of the hills
In which I lost me

I’m not seeking anything
Have I given up
This time
Unwilling to remain
On these worn feet
Resting my head
On flat stone
Able but unwilling
To move

And my hand fights
With this?
What is the word?
This pen

Am I nothing but tired
And on what great thing
Have I worn myself
Not raw
There is nothing
Of the pain
Of being flayed

This is the dour ache
Of fading
That of the cold
When it seeps into the bones
Nothing but need
For sleep

And I do not need sleep
I want free of this ice
I dare not sleep
And become imprisoned here

The music mocks me
The word soaked pages
Lose me

I am made of smoke
A solid puff
Obliterated
In the still air

Dropped from some
Golden flagon
Into the snow drift

A crimson stain frozen
Into the pristine
Blue-white coat

Why is there snow here
Why must the wind blow
Do they not know this place
The island law
There shall be no winter

This is not the foot
Of the mountains I left
That sacred, hidden place
Tucked into the crook
Of the mountains arms

This place is to be warm
To keep my shivering
At bay
And it is not
Within such simple law

And if I should move
Will the rain itself
Come down
And freeze too?

____________________________________
Originally published 
June 13, 2011 5:15 pm

You Do Not See

You do not see it, do you
Your mundanity, your superficial vanity
I plea for your reciprocity
Some hint of legitimacy

Damn you for your mundane foolishness
Your dinettes and your nooks
Your pristine homeschool perfection

I did not have those things
I could not have those things
And I am not jealous
But I doubt your charity

Yes, it is not worth our while
To dwell in this empty domicile
Your perfection of perfect living rooms 
And kitchens of polished marble style

To this we have upended our 
Foolish confessional
And I have sold my soul to something
I think is deeper than 

Deeper than this damnable comfort
This marble counter-top and vestibule
Call Anselm and Augustine
On their eternal mobile number

What have we devised for us
But foolish needs for less dust
And machines that make us less of us

RUN to your solace, your crucible
The confession you have no recourse
but to run to your only hope
Despair of all you've wasted
And turn to all you hid from 

The hope of your eternal flame
Is not that beautiful firepit on the patio
It is the thing you find
on the Sabbath
Your only hope,
Your only recourse
your only redemption

That Savior who loves you
And nothing else
He who has redeemed you
In his death, his obedience
That thing you CANNOT complete
You fool, you must run
To him, nothing else

And leave your foolish counter-tops
Your beautiful bathrooms
And your nativity
Sets.

Your forgiveness lies in your Master
Genesis through The End.
Go to bed, now, faithful
For your rest
Is In Him